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The Lifelong Quest For Sobriety…The Ultimate Hero’s Journey—Part 28

Guest Blogger and long-time Council friend, Bob W. presents Part 28 of a series dealing with Alcoholism and Addiction from a Mystical, Mythological Perspective, reflecting Bob’s scholarly work as a Ph.D. in mythological studies.

Days of Wine Roses Image
Days of Wine & Roses

When I was 19, in 1962, I remember going to see the movie Days of Wine and Roses, about a couple struggling with alcoholism. Joe, played by Jack Lemmon, and Kirsten, played by Lee Remick, descend from active social drinking into desperate alcoholism.  An otherwise normal couple in the corporate world of New York in the 1950’s, their descent is gradual until numerous bouts of out-of-control binging begin to destroy their lives.  Joe pursues recovery through AA, with Jack Klugman as Jim, his sponsor, providing an excellent portrayal of the sponsor role.  Kirsten struggles much more mightily with the disease but fails in the end.  Joe and she split up and she just disappears into a world of out-of-control drinking.

From my perspective, this movie is one of the really good, early-on portrayals of the true nature of this disease.  It also resonates with me because it carries the imagery and ambiance, and the ever presence of alcohol, of the business world in New York where I began my adult life.

We all know that there are many more sad stories of people in this disease than there are happy ones. When I saw this movie, I was far away from my disease, although my father had struggled his whole life, so I had some inkling.  But the movie’s end struck me very powerfully.  Joe was in recovery, and Kirsten, still in the disease, came to see him to suggest they get back together.  He says he will but only if she gives up drinking.  She responds, “Joe, the world looks so dirty to me when I am not drinking.  Remember Fisherman’s Wharf…the water so fuzzy when you looked too close? That’s the way the world looks to me when I am not drinking.”

The movie closes with Joe looking out the window of his apartment into a rainy night seeing Kirsten walk away down the street and disappear.  The power of that scene to me at the time, a 19 year old in 1962, begs some explanation, which I cannot provide.  Perhaps it was some element of the imbedded nature of my life with alcohol present even at such an early time.  But, whatever it was, from the perspective of today, it is a spectacular manifestation of what we can enjoy in the continuing pursuit of committed sobriety.

As Trauma From Hurricane Harvey Persists, The Council on Recovery Launches Free Counseling & Treatment for Those Still Struggling

Grant from Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund Allows Council to Provide Free Help for Trauma, Mental Health Issues, and Substance Use Disorders to People Affected by the Storm

Thanks to a grant received from the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund, The Council on Recovery is now offering all of its services at no cost to qualified hurricane victims. The Council will provide counseling, treatment, and support to individuals and families affected by storm-related trauma, substance abuse issues, and mental health disorders. These free services will help those who are still struggling to recover nearly eight months after the hurricane hit the coast of Texas.

Mel Cropped
Mel Taylor

“Since the hurricane, we’ve continuously provided help to both flood victims and those whose lives were disrupted by the storm,” says Mel Taylor, President & CEO of The Council. “The trauma people experienced precipitated or compounded many addiction and mental health issues that we still deal with every day,” Taylor says, “For some, the financial distress caused by Harvey makes treatment at any cost unaffordable. This funding will allow us to serve those people and remain the starting point for everyone who needs help.”

The Council on Recovery will provide direct services across its broad spectrum of behavioral health and substance abuse programs to individuals affected by Hurricane Harvey. Services such as assessment, evaluation, intensive education, clinical treatment, case management, and recovery support will be expanded beyond current capacity. Those who qualify will receive these services at no charge.

“Our slogan is ‘You Know Someone Who Needs Us’,” Taylor says, “and Hurricane Harvey amplified that message across the Houston area. Thanks to the generous grant from the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund, we’ll continue to meet the vital needs of our community with commitment and compassion.”

For more information, call The Council on Recovery at (713) 942-4100 or visit www.councilonrecovery.org

The Lifelong Quest For Sobriety…The Ultimate Hero’s Journey—Part 27

Declaration of Independence 1Guest Blogger and long-time Council friend, Bob W. presents Part 27 of a series dealing with Alcoholism and Addiction from a Mystical, Mythological Perspective, reflecting Bob’s scholarly work as a Ph.D. in mythological studies.

The United States Declaration of Independence is the basic expression of the principles, the mythic structure that is our American Nation. The “truths (held) to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights,” that “governments are instituted among men deriving their just rights (only) from the consent of the governed,” is the foundation of all that we espouse. They are the necessary bases for our way of life, despite the myriad of experiences that may happen from time to time where we fail to live up to these tenets. In the final analysis, all of our levels of government can only be successful if they are willing to fall back to these principles to resolve disputes.

However, it is my belief that the only communities of women and men that live up to these basic American principles in an almost absolute fashion are Alcoholics Anonymous and its fellow Twelve Step programs. We have no leaders, our volunteers and service personnel do not govern. Our only authority is a loving God as he may express himself through our Group Conscience.  Decisions about how our Fellowships are to proceed are made by Groups operating only with the Steps and Traditions to guide them. In times of stress and conflict, we can all fall back on our basic Steps and Traditions, and our collective commitments to sobriety, to restore order.

I consider myself an avowed American with a firm commitment to the principles of our American Founding…and living in the communities of 12 Step programs reinforces the joy I have felt since birth about living in an American world based on these principles.

Of course, the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions could not be the only things that would determine the stability of the broader societies that represent our Nation. Multi-tiered governmental systems are necessary to enact laws, prosecute and restrain the lawless, and interpret conflicting dicta that may derail societal systems. Without them, the innate chaotic tendencies of many of us could destroy us.  But we in the Fellowships seem to avoid these breakdowns by our own individual and collective commitment to sobriety.

For all of us sufferers of addiction, the similarities of our Groups to American societal systems provide for wonderful reflection on the beauty of our Fellowships.  But it is the fundamental commitment we all feel to the success of these Fellowships that is the real magic, and the one that keeps us from the occasional breakdowns in functioning that might happen in other, broader systems.

Lifetime Achievement Award Interview with Anne Shallenberger

How did you react when you found out you won The Council’s Lifetime Achievement Award?

There just seemed to be so many people, so to be singled out – it took me aback. I have always worked in the background. When I first came in to AA a woman came to my hospital room. I was hospitalized because I’d quit drinking cold turkey. There were a rough couple of days, and I was hospitalized. Ann Hoy came to my hospital room. She was a friend of a friend of a friend and she came to see me. She took me under her wing and took me to my first AA Meeting outside the hospital. She guided me to The Council. At the time, it was a ground floor office with two rooms and just a handful of employees.

What did it mean to you to have someone you didn’t even know come to support you?

Oh, it meant the world to me. Here I was embarking on this new life, this new lifestyle. To have somebody there to guide you…she guided me to The Council. She said, “The only way to keep something is to give it away” So, that’s been my credo that I’ve gone forward with.

That is profound. Is that what initially attracted you to serving at The Council?

Absolutely. At that time, we started volunteering to do this and do that – book sales and workshops. There were all kinds of activities to volunteer for. Also, all of my life I had been saying, “Does anybody need a piano player?” And they needed a piano player! So that worked out well.

You’ve had more than 35 years of service to The Council and the impact of what you have accomplished is truly extraordinary. What advice do you have for other individuals that are in service?

Keep it up! It’s such a worthwhile cause. There are families that are torn apart by this disease. It is like knitting families back together, whichever member happens to be in need of The Council’s services. And there are so many things that The Council offers to everybody: the family, the person who is suffering from addiction. It’s a win-win.

One of your many contributions to The Council’s recovery community was your role in starting and overseeing the Noon 12-Step Meeting at Jackson Hill.

Oh, not I alone. Really, I think it was several friends and other board members. We decided that it would be great to have a noon meeting. So it was I that volunteered to be the treasurer and take the Monday meetings. It just rolled along, everything was just great for about nine years. I collected the money, and kept up with the rent and quarterly donations to the General Service Office and Intergroup. I had also been the treasurer of the Post Oak Club back in my infancy. I would collect the money from the Post Oak Club, bring it home to count, and then deposit it in the bank. But in the interim I thought, “Oh my God! I can’t keep all this money around!” So, I put it in my extra clothes hamper. And that’s exactly where I used to put the overage of my liquor! I thought to myself at the time, “I used to keep my liquor in here and now I keep money from the AA meetings. Oh dear!” (Laughs.)

One of your most remarkable and lasting contributions to The Council is your role in helping to start the luncheon series. You’ve shared before that when the luncheon began you were charging $50 per ticket, which was considered very expensive at the time.

I remember Claudine Henderson was the wonderful president and director of The Council. When we told her we wanted to have a fundraising luncheon, she hadn’t heard of anything like it. I think it was in the 1980’s that most of these fundraising luncheons started that continue as we know them today, charging a good amount for a ticket. Until that time, all anybody had been doing was having $10 spaghetti dinners, so it was a new concept. I remember Claudine saying, “Do you think anybody is going to pay $50 for a lunch?” So, we were thrilled when we got 300 people or so.

Today, our luncheons attract about 1,000 people per event. What has it been like to watch the luncheons evolve? Could you have ever envisioned such a change?

Never. Never in our wildest dreams. We just thought The Council needed some extra funds, and was not getting enough to do what we wanted to do. So, we thought, “Well, let’s do something!” It started there. It’s been a ride.

We’ve talked about some of your notable contributions: you helped launch our luncheons, have served on various boards, helped start the Noon 12-Step Jackson Hill meeting, and oversaw our capital campaign just to name a few. In all the work you’ve done, is there anything that stands out as your favorite?

Oh gee. They’re all my favorite! Incidentally, when we decided to launch the campaign – I think that was in 1995 – I had just been voted onto the board of the McCullough Foundation, thanks to my brother. The McCullough Foundation was not started by my parents, but my aunt and uncle. So I thought, “Isn’t this wonderful? That I now have this resource available, because I don’t personally have the funds, but I can do this. It just happened. (Points upward) Thank you!

You shared that when you first came to The Council it was a two room office with just a handful of employees. So much has changed over the years. What do you think has been the biggest change in treating addiction? What does the landscape of recovery look like today?

Well, I think it has evolved into treating all facets of recovery from the sufferer itself to the family. It is so important to have treatment for everyone, because it completely changes the life of the family or even the relationship between a husband and wife. There are so many adjustments. All the things families suffer on account of addiction and the addicted person have to be shored up and pointed in a new direction.

Do you feel like there has been a change in the way the community responds to addiction?

Oh I think by all means, addiction and treatment has been accepted by the majority of the public. It had some growing pains in its infancy. Over the years it has been so hush-hush up until probably the 1970’s or 1980’s. People became more open minded about recovery and addressing it.

Do you have any hopes for The Council for the future?

I hope The Council keeps doing what it’s doing. It’s been wonderful what The Council has done under the direction of Mel. He’s been great. I’m so glad he’s in charge.

You hired him! You were on the board that helped hire him. Tell me about that.

I ran against him! Well – briefly. I had a notion that “Oh, I think I can do it,” but I was dissuaded by my friend and mentor! I thought I better just stick with piano and bookkeeping.

 

What do you think is next for The Council? What do you see in our future?

Nothing but grandness. I think that there are so many avenues to explore in recovery, the sufferer – the one who is seeking recovery – and the family members and friends and associates. I think that the word has really gotten out in the last 20 years to friends and family about recovery. They understand. At first, it was a little bit rough.

What would you say to the people that don’t understand?

Well I think everybody is addicted to something or other. I think you can draw a correlation. I think it’s human nature. It’s something you like and it makes you feel good and you do it some more.

One of the things I’ve heard you mention several times today was family. It’s an important topic, and certainly at The Council we have a family focus.

Well you know, the family is such a close knit group. When one piece is taken out or put back in, it’s confusing. There is conflict. That’s why there are so many divorces after somebody decides to sober up, because it’s not the same person. It’s not the same relationship. The spouse of an alcoholic has learned to manipulate that person because of the alcoholism, and when that is taken out and things are above board – it totally changes. And then the poor children. I grew up as a child of two raging alcoholics. That’s how they operated their lives. My father had a clock in the family room that had all fives on it, so it was always five after five. Both my mother and father were alcoholics till the day they died, so I thought nothing of their lifestyle. They would get together with their friends and meet at the house and have drinks, and then go out and “terrorize” a restaurant, and then come back for the proverbial night cap. That was just the lifestyle, so of course I thought everybody lived like that.

Is there any kind of message that you would share with people that are actively affected by addiction and are trying to face this disease?

Well, I don’t know what message I would send them except: think about how it all plays out. People in that posture can’t see or even look for the light at the end of the tunnel. I just wish them well and hope they will find recovery. Because it is so much more than abstaining from your drug of choice. It’s building a new life. It’s touching into one’s value system. It was the first time for me. It will make you realize what’s really important.

As you are sharing all of these reflections with me, I can’t help but think about how important one person can be. You are only one person, yet you have made a profound impact. And your story began with Ann, and her impact, which in turn rippled down to you.

There are just so many of us. It’s not just one person. I don’t know, it’s the spirt. It’s contagious. You could say, “Oh yeah, let’s do that!” And then we would find out it can be done, so you do it again.

Is there anything else you think is important for people to know?

There’s nothing more dramatic than just thinking of one day at a time. In everything. One day at a time. That’s all we have.

Youth-Inspired Film Sparks New Conversations About Mental Illness

Angst MovieIndieFlix documentary and panel discussion to spur dialogue about the state of youth mental health in Houston.

On Thursday, April 12th, the Center for School Behavioral Health at Mental Health America of Greater Houston in collaboration with Advocates of Healthy Minds, The Council on Recovery, Fusion Academy and the Peace of Mind Foundation, will hold a special screening of the new IndieFlix Original documentary, “Angst: Raising Awareness Around Anxiety,” at The Council on Recovery (303 Jackson Hill Street, 77007) as an opportunity to create a dialogue between local families, community leaders and experts about the state of youth mental health in our area.

The event, scheduled from 6:00 pm – 8:00 pm, will feature a viewing of the 56-minute film that tells the stories of kids and teens who discuss their anxiety and its impacts on their lives and relationships, and how they have found solutions and hope. The film also provides discussions with mental health experts about the causes of anxiety and its sociological effects, along with the help, resources and tools available to address the condition.

Following the film, a panel discussion with behavioral health experts, Elizabeth McIngvale, Ph.D, founder of the Peace of Mind Foundation and Sam Scharff, LPC, LCDC with The Council on Recovery and Fusion Academy student, Parker Lewish will highlight the evening.

“Anxiety disorders are real and treatable,” said Janet Pozmantier, M.S., LPC, LMFT, RPT, director of the Center for School Behavioral Health at Mental Health America of Greater Houston. “Getting young people preventative care, treatment and tools to cope is crucial to helping them to not only feel better, but to have a greater chance of having success in life. It’s time to start the conversation in our homes, our schools and our communities.”

One in every five youth meet the criteria for having a lifetime mental disorder that can cause severe impairment or distress. Studies also show that substance use or dependence is the most commonly diagnosed health concerns for young people, followed by anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health challenge in the U.S., impacting 54 percent of females and 46 percent of males, with age seven being the median age of onset, according to the World Health Organization. While anxiety disorders are highly treatable, only one-third of those suffering receive treatment. Everyone involved in the development of “Angst” has a personal experience with anxiety – from the producers to the interviewees.

Free and low-cost tickets are available here.  The screening is appropriate for students, families, advocates and community members interested in learning about preventing and addressing mental health concerns including anxiety, depression and suicide. “Angst” screens in schools and communities across the world and is expected to reach more than three million people around the world, through 25,000 community and school screenings.

The Lifelong Quest For Sobriety…The Ultimate Hero’s Journey—Part 26

Guest Blogger and long-time Council friend, Bob W. presents Part 26 of a series dealing with Alcoholism and Addiction from a Mystical, Mythological Perspective, reflecting Bob’s scholarly work as a Ph.D. in mythological studies.

In 1773, a curate of the Church of England based in Buckinghamshire, named John Newton, wrote Amazing Grace, a spiritual hymn that is widely recognized as one of the most powerful in the World. Newton wrote this in his 48th year, but his earlier life was anything but spiritual.  He spent much of this 20’s and 30’s in virtually all aspects of the slave trade, from capture and acquisition in the interior of Africa through distribution and sales in colonial America and elsewhere.  He was also known as a uniquely rough and profane man to those who met him.

A series of events in his 30’s resulted in a profound conversion and he became a well regarded minister of the Church.  The primary words of the song are magical:

Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found.
T’was blind but now I see.

T’was Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Grace can be defined, as per Webster, as “the favor of God,” or a “divine assistance for regeneration.”  Every time I hear this song it strikes my heart as what the process of recovery has meant to me.  For once I accepted that there was a higher power to whom I could turn over my life and be guided in my everyday activities, the fears that had ruled my life from first consciousness became manageable.

Many of us have had alcohol and addiction bottoms of horrendous magnitude, truly evil actions and intentions stretched over decades.  But think about the activities in which Newton must have trafficked…capturing whole families from ancient communities, transporting them in chains and deplorable conditions halfway around the world, and then selling them to slave masters to be used as chattel for the rest of their lives. How hard must that heart have been to make such decisions…and how beautiful that he could have been so thoroughly relieved of such a dark mantle of human depravity through the gift of grace.

…and how wonderful is it that all of us could have been blessed with the same gift of grace….